By: Tehniat Fatima
I hate it when my pets fall ill. I hate to sit there and wait, watch them in pain and not know what to say. Since I was a child, we always kept pets. There would always be at least one animal in or outside our house, could be tame or stray. From dogs to rabbits to cats, we had numerous pets, spirits that I always fall in love with. And if you've ever kept pets you would know that they come and go, that they fall sick and hurt themselves, like they are little children. And I always manage to break apart when one of them goes or is hurt. Two stray cats used to live in our backyard, a mother (named Mano) and a son (named Jerry).
It all started when Mano started to visit us frequently in hopes of food and shortly, got pregnant. But Mano was weak and despite consulting a vet and providing her shelter, her offspring did not survive. That was followed by tears of grief, from my family and Mano. After almost a year and another miscarriage later, Mano managed to get pregnant again, by then she had permanently shifted in our backyard and would trust me and my mom to quite an extent. She hated men though. This delivery was full of injections and doctors who scared Mano to death, resulting in a dead newborn and an alive, well, white kitten. Once again, the loss was grieved but a small portion of us was joyous as we finally had a kitten, not that we wanted one, the change just brought happiness to us. The next three days after the delivery were pure hell, Mano was not ready to accept that we had finally got her a room in the house because of the stormy weather conditions outside and the pain and jealousy drove her to lose it slightly. She attempted to kill the little one many times, but my mom and I were always there to snatch it out of her mouth. We lost many nights in a haze, and she then calmed down and chose a corner for her little ones safety. All was well again.
A debate of what to name the kitten took place in our household and we ended up with "Jerry" as the final name. Jerry is the naughtiest, most active kitten that I had ever seen. He grew up fast, being almost six months old now, he hates it when we pet him, hates humans in general unless and until you play tag with him or make your fingers dance for him. We would torture him alot, cuddling with him and tickiling him. Two days ago, Jerry disappeared. It was in the afternoon that my mom fed him meat and he went to wander, as he would go usually. That morning I was in Murree along with some of my cousins, we got back home at about 9 in the night and I went straight to pet the cats, having missed the cats for three days now. Jerry wasn't there, Mano was tense. We waited for Jerry to come back for a whole day, the whole day Mano was acting weird, coming inside through the windows again and again and howling weirdly, little did we know that she was trying to tell us something.
The next day, we fed Mano some chicken but she wouldn't eat it. We were all worried sick about Jerry by this point, but not a sound was heard when Mano would call him and we had just assumed that he had wandered off to a place far away and would return shortly. But, then we noticed that Mano was taking the piece of chicken to our neighbours back porch and howling with the food in her mouth. That's when it clicked, Jerry was stuck somewhere in the back porch of our neighbour's house. I took a flashlight and asked the neighbour's if we could check just in case Jerry was there. The neighbour's said that they hadn't heard a sound for two days now, that if something would be stuck it would surely yelp. Even my Dad got mad at the assumption and scolded us, but in the end when I flashed the phone's light under the stairs in their porch, there he was.
Jerry was scared, dirty and limp. I was terrified and shocked, it took quite an effort not to burst in tears right there and then. I tried to get him to stand, made him sniff my hand so he would stand up and come to me. So, he would realize that he was finally safe, but his pupils were dilated and he wasn't making a sound. Thankfully Mom was standing right across the wall, so I somehow managed to crawl under the small space under their stairs and drag him out of the little corner. I had never seen him more scared. HAnding him to Mom, I thanked the neighbours and rushed back home, fear blooming in my chest. Coming near him we tried to make him stand, we tried to make him eat-from chicken to bread, all we did was try. But, we understood that he was seriously injured, such that he couldn't even stand up.
We called several vets, who told us that they wouldn't be available till the morning. That whole night I stayed awake beside Jerry, checking again and again if he was breathing. Everytime, my eyes would close I would shake myself awake, knowing that I had to be there. My heart wept the whole night. Somewhere during the early hours of the morning, Mano joined us, allowing herself in from my window and settled right against me after giving Jerry some licks. The next morning was the last time I ever saw Jerry, the last time I would touch him and sense nothing but pain and fear in his body and eyes. The next two days were hell. The doctors couldn't understand what was wrong with him. They were sure that all his bones were still intact. They were fooled and they did nothing but amplified the pain that my whole family and I were in. To make matters better my grandma was of no help whatsoever. We human beings are so incredibly selfish.
Jerry's back bone had been fractured and had smashed into such small splinters that surgery wasn't possible. In the end, we decided that it was too much pain, too much suffering for the poor, previously extremely selfish soul. So, we put him to sleep, we decided to end it all. That night was pure agony for me, I slept-but it was the kind of sleep that leaves you more restless than ever. I slept after four hours of crying, of muffling my mouth to quieten it down. I slept but the hole still remains and I don't ever think this cycle will stop. There's so many more before Jerry; Smokey, Candy, Tabby, Angi and Manzu. So many that I couldn't help but love, so many that have left me for this part of life. And so, the hole only expands.
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