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A Message to everyone

Writer's picture: Lala RukhLala Rukh

Anonymous


What is it like to grow up in a normal healthy household?

That’s a question I have been thinking over since a young age. I never thought all those years, from my late childhood up till now would turn out to be like this.

Okay so before you think how boring this is stop being lazy and just read the whole thing!! I like to think I am a very jolly person who always stays happy. That’s why if I have a serious discussion with anyone about ‘how life feels difficult’ most of them say;

“Tumne abhi duniya hi kahan dekhi hai?”

Without knowing my whole story. So yeah today I will share my story.

“Kynke thori bohat menay bhi dekh li hai Duniya”

Life was easy honestly.

Life... was good.

It’s still good Alhamdulillah because I know my Allah is always with me.

But you can say after all the “rainbows and daisies”, reality hit me like a bus...

...actually, there were multiple buses.

I used to live in a small cozy house with my perfect family. But suddenly my father passed away (May God give him the highest rank in Jannat). For those who are thinking about how? Well, I usually don’t go into detail, but he was murdered.

Well, that was the first bus! Things got a bit complicated. Some people say I’m a great observer, that’s why I observed a lot of changes and experienced a lot of difficulties because of those changes. That’s when I first started noticing that there are two types of people: good and fake. In short, I would just say that famous saying,

“Log sab hi achay hotay hain, bas Khuda Uss buray waqt se bachaye”

(Sorry for those who can’t understand Urdu).

However, there came a good time when my sister got married to an amazing man who I got close to, in a few months. It’s true if Allah takes someone from you he really does give someone in return.

Anyhow, I was still not that experienced at observing people.

After a few years my mother remarried because of the difficult situation. I wasn’t happy with the decision but I had no other choice but to accept it, plus I was very young at that time. Things went smoothly in the beginning.

Life was again back to normal. I did meet some more fake people, but also some genuine ones. I was in school at this time.

After a year things started getting a bit different at home. Now after my father’s death I got very close with my mother. Naturally, I was concerned about her too.

First it started with simple arguments over silly issues, then came legitimate mental torture. But the second bus hit me when those arguments got physical. It shocked me on a different level. The first mistake I made was that I kept it a secret. But what can I say I was very young and did not understand at that time.

Things never happened in front of me, but I could hear all of it.

It went back to normal the very next day till the next argument. Things got very uncomfortable, they were not only arguments, but proper mental torture, harassment, and a lot of swearing. There’s one thing I hate the most and that’s swearing at people. Before all this, my brother left the house due to an argument which was another story. So during all this time, I was alone and I couldn’t get the courage to tell anyone about it.

Yes, right now I realize that was immature and stupid of me not to tell anyone, but trust me when I say it requires a lot of guts to speak out in that age and those circumstances.

Things went on like this, it got physical two more times but this time my mother also fought back. I endured all of it because till then I wasn’t the one who was directly suffering, but it was still torture. I Finished my O levels (I don’t even know how).

I got into the college of my choice. Started my A levels and I can confidently say, it brought me immense joy to go to college every day because it helped me forget about the toxic environment and all the mental torture at home. I wanted to spend more time in college than at home. I met some amazing people and I can never thank my Lord enough for bringing those people in my life.

But then the third bus hit me when all that torture got directed towards me specifically. That was my limit.

Yes! when it comes to myself I do not compromise because it’s my life and I get to make the decision. So I left home, told my very supportive cousin everything, and stayed with my aunt because at this point things got out of control and since then things just got worse. I won’t tell you guys more but very few of my friends know about what’s happening and I am truly grateful for their help. You see in the past few years I have developed a habit (some people might say it’s a really good habit) of sharing things with the people I am close with because that’s the only way I survive. The most important is believing in God that things will get better. I have no clue what will happen but I just hope whatever happens is for the best.

So my point of writing this is to tell you all:

Guys! Don’t lose hope, even if things get so bad,

Don’t lose hope, good times will come! :)

This is all just a test like in one narration a hadith says “ ALLAH TESTS YOU ACCORDING TO HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU.” WHEN HE LOVES YOU MORE, HE TESTS YOU MORE”.



(Picture from c-mw.net)

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