Caged

By: Eesha Aziz

An indescribable change occurs in a woman’s life when another precious life is within her. It changes her and the people around her. Little does the baby girl know her fights begin before she even enters this world. Abortion is one of the biggest fear for the mother, as she always wants to raise her child, regardless of their gender. She fights for the innocent soul which has not even entered this adventurous, beautiful world. In villages, people are still living in the jahiliyyah era. The mother cries her heart out in every house where the baby girl is born, as that baby is buried alive. Her baby is being buried, the living soul she kept in her womb is being killed. Were you aware that in October 2019, a newborn girl was buried alive in a cemetery in India? However, this does not happen everywhere. Some mothers' strength and power, protects their baby, to bring her into this world.

Struggles of the child do not stop here, this is just the beginning of the gravel path. Most of the girls in our society go through this. As soon as they start to move forward, their difficulties increase. The second obstacle they face on this path is the limited educational opportunities available to them. At first, they even need to fight for themselves to be allowed to study. School-aged girls are much better off today than in years past, but there are still far too many who are not completing their education. Did you know there are more than 30 million girls who are not attending schools in the world’s poorest regions?

Moreover, they encounter the changes developing in them. When they go through puberty, girls' behavior changes. I remember in my school when one of my class fellows experienced this, she got scared and cried. She didn't know what was happening. She was sweating and shaking so I took her to my class teacher after and she explained the whole thing. However in this situation there was a big problem, which was insufficient access to sanitation facilities, a problem faced by one too many in third world countries. Also were you aware that more than one billion people around the world practice open defecation? Though poor sanitation affects both genders, women and girls are particularly at risk of gender-based violence when they do not have a private place to relieve themselves. Many poor innocent, adolescent girls also end their education early when they don’t have access to a school bathroom or sanitary napkins. The numbers are unbelievable. The majority of girls go through menstruation and yet, there is the unavailability of proper sanitation.

The next difficulty in walking this path is financial exclusion. Due to the lack of access to higher education (as illustrated above), which means they have no degree, which means no job. When they have no job, no money of their own, they will be dependent on others. When girls get into their teenage years they are told that they will learn house chores and trained to be a good wife as they will get married and their main goal is going to keep their husbands satisfied. Few girls rebel against those who force them to stay home and do nothing. They fight for themselves to work and earn money for themselves. When they get married they are dependent on their partner. In many countries, a huge number of women are housewives (against their will).

Another big problem you face is limited access to land & safe shelter. Regressive social norms, discriminatory policies, and weak implementation of equitable laws prevent women from owning land in developing countries. Additionally, many women and men also struggle to afford homes that meet their household’s needs. Around 1.6 billion people globally suffer from inadequate shelters.

Moreover, another problem which we encounter is low agricultural productivity. Women work more hours per day than men when all productive activities are considered – including housework, groceries, and childcare. This leads to women’s agricultural productivity being less than men, so they don't get lands. The majority of people prefer to give their land for production to men, as they believe that men are stronger and more productive than women. Seeing these bitter realities, one can't help but be disappointed in our society. What if the woman you refused to give land was in a serious need of money? What if she was suffering from an illness for which she needed the money? What would you do if a male and a female come to ask you for a land? Whom would you give?

The next very heartbreaking problem is poor medical care and access to health information. Women suffer from illness and disease in many poor communities because they lack access to vital health information and resources. Mortality rates for women are significantly higher than men in many developing countries. There are many villages where women are not taken to hospitals. They believe it can ruin their reputation and people would gossip and rumors would spread all over the village. And of course, the infamous, "loug kiya kaheinge".

This gravel path is also walked by those who have support from one of the family members. It could be anyone one of the parents, siblings, uncle, aunt, grandparents. They help them to get out of the cage but due to society and other family members, who are in favor of the idea to keep the female of their house in a cage, it gets difficult to walk the gravel path. The majority of people believe in incaging their women which is very sad.

However, these are just a few major problems faced by women, they do not stop there. When a girl gets married, she believes, just like a good partner helping her walk this tough path, he will help her and put no boundaries. Little does she know she is being transferred from one cage to the other. Just like the birds cry and scream to be set free, women in this society go through this heartbreaking situation, and like birds they cry for help, begging to be free but no help comes to them which is a very sad reality.

In our society in many houses, the upbringing of a boy is that you have all the power. You are superior to a female whether it's his sister or wife. You have all control over them, they should obey you. Your wife should do what makes you happy and sacrifice her freedom. Men are told that the female of his house can only do what he will allow them to do. His wife should always ask for his permission to do things. They believe that women should not talk to any man except close relatives. They believe that those who talk to other men are characterless. Did you know in villages it is said if a woman is working in an office she is not a good person and is ruining the reputation of her family? This doesn't mean that men do not face any problems. They also face problems and are pressurized by society. An example of the problem is that they are the ones who, no matter what, have to do a good job to earn money to run their house. They have to take care of all the expenses like children's education, grocery, etc.

It has come to my attention that in many cases women are enemies of themselves. They get into the cage themselves as they think it's right. These women think if the girl herself does not go willingly in that cage, she is not a good person, she should be ashamed of herself. They do not get the idea that those women are standing for their rights which are not given to them.

Many of us think of this question: Why is this still an issue in 2020? Well it's mainly because a vast majority of parents, are still teaching their kids to keep women in cages. In many schools, the same ideologies are being taught, cultivating this mentality, and creating the same environment. In a few schools, girls get punished for talking to the boy in class. In many schools, there are separate sections for boys and girls. If a girl goes to that section in her free time, they say she just wants boys’ attention and it's a very shameful act from her side to go there. If a girl has a male friend, then the situation is automatically worse.

Seeing this bitter reality we can see that this environment is taken to the offices as well. If a female worker is talking and is friends with a male worker the gossip between the other colleagues. They are the very first people who start making assumptions and call her a person with no self-respect.

They say it's bad to talk to males. My question to them is why is it bad? Aren't men also humans? I would like to conclude this by questioning those women who are in favor of being trapped in the cage. How can you agree with the idea that women are a disgrace and they shouldn't be given the freedom to choose? If you agree and say that women are a disgrace to society doesn't that mean you are calling yourself a disgrace to this society? I am pretty sure you don’t want to be thought of like that and want to be called a graceful and a respected person to whom people look up to.

My last question to you all is what would you do when you would have a family of your own? Would you restrict your kids from freedom due to social pressure? How would you treat your kids? What advice would you give your kids? Would you teach your kids to respect everyone equally regardless of gender?

(Photo from Vancouver Weekly)