Dear No one,
You want me to be who you think I am. You want me to perfect myself to your requirements. Make me, mold me, and break me into your version of me. You don’t see, you don’t feel, you don’t understand, it’s almost like you’re not human. It’s like I’m a sculpture for you, to twist anyway you want to. It’s like you have the remote that controls me, but guess who the wrong one here is. I may be broken, may be bruised but you know what? I’m me and no one, not even you with those clever tactics of yours can transform me completely. You may win more than once, win technically. But, I’m the winner in the end. The one that knows that no matter what, once the chains are broken, the silence shattered, I will win, once and for all. An ultimate win, because of the strength I found within myself when I was on my knees. You tell me this is what I want, what I’ll enjoy, what I will cherish when in reality you are the meaning of pain. Of hurt in my life. Because I have dreams and I have strategies to claim what I’ve pictured.
I have goals which will leave you awestruck. I’m a believer; I believe that I can do what I say. All this hate you pour in me, it stirs a hurricane within me but in the end you’ll be the victim. You’ll be the deranged one. All the laughter, mocks, smirks are imprinted on my mind and believe me I had a choice. But I choose not to exploit you, to destroy you like you did. Don’t ask me why. And, the most delightful fact is that someone else will do it for me. I will get to watch how you fall apart piece by piece; karma will bring justice to me. In the end, I will always be crazy for getting revenge; no amount of goodness could correct now, this demon larger than all the others. See, you ruined me, made me crave what I never imagined. Made me leap to things to things that are morally incorrect and unjustified.
I have rules, you see. And you ruined many of them for me. But, I can tell you, that I will tear each and every one of them down because I want to. I will destroy all the bases if it is required and I won’t think. I will go to any length it takes to exploit you like you exploited me. You a can call me sick, stupid, immature or anything that suits you. Guess what? I’m a step ahead because I don’t give a shit. It all ended when you told me that this isn’t the way that I should talk, or eat, or sit. It all went to hell the moment you slapped me hard across the face and then told me you loved me.
Maybe, I’ll trail to hell after you, but you have no idea of the dangerous thoughts that live inside of me. Thoughts that are leashed, so be aware of your line. You cannot interfere in my life, even if we are related or bonded by blood. Why? Because you are no one to me. There is nothing ahead of that. Nothing. If you exist in my life or have a role in it, it does not mean that you have a right to criticize me on every step that I take. It doesn’t mean that I allow you to press me till I break.
Yet, you’re dumb. I mean that’s a known, learnt fact. Oopsie daisy, but you forgot your limits quite a while ago and believe me since then my respect for you just keeps shrinking. Your real worth is that you’re no one. Absolutely nothing. At least when it comes to my life, you already messed it all up, I will not allow you to blow it all up. Last but not least, I’m a nightmare really. I just don’t want to reciprocate the shit that you made me put up with. So, you can go to hell and rot there forever. ☺
I was never yours.
Sincerely (not),
Tehniat Fatima Ahmed.
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