Grief is unpreventable. We face grief over different reasons. It may be over a loss or a tragedy and so on. It is not necessary that loss is faced individually it can also be collectively as a community. The situation going on in Kashmir is an example of the departure of many human beings or we can take the example of the Mosque shooting in New Zealand. But grief has to be dealt with in order to move on in life. It needs to be confronted, not putting it aside waiting for the trigger to make you collapse. How you cope with grief has an impact on the healing process tremendously. In order to move forward, it has to be dealt with and it makes you grow, even though it is painful but only when you deal with it and confront it will you grow. It is extremely painful at times to confront because you have come to terms with reality. You have to accept reality for what it is as harsh as it may be.
The depth of your grief for the loss of someone is in proportion to the depth of your love of them. Letting ourselves mourn and processing our feeling is vital as well as thinking about the Prophets and reflecting on their experiences because it shows that even the best of humans had to go through this pain. Some say that the reason for your sadness or your grief is because of your lack of faith, which is wrong. Prophet Muhammad(SAW) dealt with a series of losses in his life. His mother when he was six, his uncle and his grandfather, Hazrat Khadija(RA) that even 10 years after her death, he (SAW) still cried for her.
Six of his seven children passed away. When the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) lost his son, Ibrahim it was said about Prophet Muhammad(SAW) “And he wept “the eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord. O, Ibrahim! Indeed we are grieved by your separation ” Was the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) weak in faith? No, he was not. He was and still is the best of Mankind. Allah did not reprimand him when he grieved for the loss of his son.
Let us now take the example of Prophet Yaqub(AS), another Prophet. He had 12 sons, one of them being Yusuf(AS). when Yaqub (AS0 was separated from Yusuf(AS), he grieved so intense that his eyes turned white due to how much he cried. His grief is also mentioned in the Qu’ran: “ And he Yaqub (AS) said “ Oh, my sorrow over Yusuf” and he became white from grief because of the sorrow he suppressed.” If the greatest human beings on earth had to go through all of this, how can we say that our iman is weak in terms of our grief?
Our emotions were created by Allah Himself, therefore telling yourself or anyone that they shouldn't feel the way they feel is denying an important part that Allah has placed within us. Pain is pain. Grief should be confronted, it has to be confronted, otherwise more and more misery will be created in the long run because that feeling still exists within you on a heavy scale and it could explode once it is triggered. Confronting your pain leads you acceptance ad seeking solutions. Of course, it will hurt but the pain always tries to teach us a lesson. A lesson worth learning from your own life experiences.
(The writer wishes to remain anonymous)
(Image from here.)
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