(Photo by Wolfgang Schrittwieser)
By: Shahana Khan
“3….2…1… Clear!!!” Reece commanded. He put the irons of the AED Defibrillators on his father’s chest. The volts made Andrew Wilson’s chest jump but his heart only responded with a straight line. They had lost him. He had lost him. As the realisation dawned upon him, his body went cold with fear. With the loss hitting him hard. Reece felt his eyes prickling with tears. He felt the shadow of a hand trace his shoulder, “I’m sorry.” He couldn’t bear another second in this room, where his world had been snatched away from him, He stormed out. Only that a few hours ago, his father was alive, laughing with him lovingly. *** 6 hours ago Today, Reece Wilson had alarmingly woken up from a dream of fire and blood. The feeling of something bad to happen- of grief not too far away to envelope him- was nagging him all day. He had, as usual, left for work, with his father to be dropped at the town’s library. He had picked up his best friend and co-worker, Elias Waters, from the town’s coffee shop where his sister, Emma, worked. They both worked in the same hospital as the two biggest and most successful trauma surgeons in town. It was a normal day, as normal as it could be- with birds chirping their melody; the trees swaying to the song of the wind; the sky glowing as the sun burst through the non-existent clouds- but the feeling of something grim to happen was still nagging him. He ironically remembered a quote, “ Normal is an illusion. What is normal for a spider is chaos for the fly”. *** Reece was in his office now. He was going through a few documents from his past patients as case studies, when suddenly his phone flashed with a call from his father. “Hello? Reece?” Andrew’s old voice flashed in Reece’s ear questioningly, as he picked up the phone. “Yes dad. It’s me,” he replied with a smile of fondness plastered on his lips. Andrew always did this; always making sure that it was Reece and no one else. “Oh good! I wanted to tell you that I’m going to that nearby coffee shop where that Emma girl works, okay?” Andrew explained. “Okay, dad.” Reece smiled. “Remember to pick me up from there.” His dad reminded. “Don’t worry, dad. I will! I promise.” Reece promised. “Okay, now I have to go. I’ll see you in an hour. I love you.” “I love you too, dad.” And with that, Reece and Andrew, both hung up their phones. Reece smiled to himself. It was good to have dad around; he was the one who raised Reece to be the best when his mother couldn’t, when his mother left them for someone else. He sighed in the awful memory of his childhood and he took hold of those documents he was going through a few minutes ago. Name: Mackenzie Byrne Age: 33 Problem: Blood clotting in the lower section of the brain Suddenly, Elias bolted inside with clear fear plastered over his face. Reece stood up with curiosity on his face. “What’s wrong?” He asked steadily. “The coff – coff –“ Elias started gasping. Reece ran towards his best friend, he held him at arm’s length. “What is it? What about the coffee shop?” Reece asked as he saw that Elias was pale with fear and at the brink of tears. This worried Reece even more. It was not like Elias to be panic-stricken about anything; after all he was a doctor and doctors were trained to remain patient through even the hardest of times. A tear fell from Elias’ eye, “The coffee shop has caught on fire. And – and Emma’s shift wasn’t over yet.” Terror made a knot in Reece’s stomach. He suddenly heard the ambulance sirens. He didn’t wait for a second and bolted outside towards the main door. He silently prayed for his father to be okay. A few bodies were brought inside on stretchers. He even saw Emma, but she looked quite fine, only a few burns that seemed to look like second-degree, but other than that she wasn’t serious. She was taken straight to her brother’s check-up wing. Reece waited and waited. Many ambulances came and went. Terror seemed to be clinging tight to his body, trying to choke him. He was growing impatient now, his nerves on edge. He waited and waited more. Time seemed to be growing from minutes to years, decades, centuries for him. At last, the ambulance arrived. Reece ran for it, hoping it won’t be his father; and if it was then he would be alive and well. But that hope seemed to be etching away, like sand slipping out of his hand, as soon as he reached nearer and nearer. There was something painfully familiar about the limp body in the stretcher. It was Andrew Wilson, his reason to live, his father. “Get him in fast!” Reece screamed in horror. They ran into the surgery room. They got into the room and Reece announced, “Get the blood bags, he’s losing a lot of blood!” The nurse first stood there questioningly. “He’s A+,” Reece said as he noticed her still standing there motionless. She nodded and did as she was told. She ran out and came in a matter of seconds. She attached a cannula in the back of Andrew’s hand, connecting the blood bag to him. “Connect the AED monitor to him!” Reece ordered. And this time another surgeon in training, Raphael, entered and did as Reece had said. He held out his hands to take the AED irons at any time. “Please don’t leave me dad. I’m not going to give up on you, so please don’t give up on yourself. Please.” He whispered longingly at his father who laid motionless in reply. He was handed the irons. “Give me 300 volts,” He ordered. “Okay… 3… 2… 1… clear!” Andrew’s chest rose, but his heart didn’t respond. “Again! 500 volts this time. 3… 2… 1… Clear!” Reece called. Chest jumped, no response. “Okay, one last time. On 800 volts. 3… 2… 1… Clear!” Reece called out again. The chest rose, but it was just too late. Andrew’s heart would not respond at all now. They had lost him. He had lost him. Reece moaned in agony as the realisation dawned upon him, his body went cold with fear. With the loss hitting him hard. He felt tears at the back of his throat. He stood wide-eyed in disbelief that now, he was all alone. A tear fell from his eye and he felt a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry.” He fell to the floor, dropping on his knees. Raphael’s hand found his shoulder again and squeezed it. Rage flooded over Reece. Rage of not being with his father. Rage of losing his father. Rage of not saving him. Rage of his father giving up. How could he? How could he leave him like this? How could he leave him to be alone in the world, on his own, with no one to turn to? He couldn’t bear another second in this room. He shrugged the hand off and left the room. He ignored the chaos around him and went out towards his car. He got into his car and hit the paddle; driving towards the highest point in town; the St. Jonah’s cliff. He came out, not even bothering to shut the door and went to the very edge of the cliff. He screamed and screamed his heart out. Screamed as if nothing mattered. Screamed as if he could tear the world down, as if he could scream fire and envelope everything in it. And then, he let the tears stream down his face; as he let the darkness that seemed to be forming in his heart envelope him, the hole that had now inevitably formed where his father used to be. He had failed. Failed miserably. Failed his father. He knew now that failure can occasionally sneak up on you in the worst of ways. *** Now that years had passed the event, Reece stood at his father’s grave. Flowers in his hand- daffodils, because they were his father’s favourites. He sighed in longing as W.S. Merwin’s poem seemed to flash before his eyes over and over again: “Separation Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color.” He stood there staring, unable to speak. He felt a small hand grasp his hand. He looked down at his daughter, Mina, who stared back at him as if trying to sooth him. His wife, Emma, traced her hand at his back soothingly too. They all knew that this was not easy for him. He smiled, nonetheless, as he turned his gaze back to his father’s gravestone; at the etched words: “The sun shined brighter because he was here. Andrew Wilson 1964-2011” He placed the flowers down and stepped back as if assessing the view. When he was satisfied, he picked up his daughter and exclaimed, “Who wants ice-cream?”
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