By: Hania Bilal
I am in between. Just as the ivories begin to cascade, but before the music begins to swoon. The pause between the notes. I am the space between the hesitant performer and the dignified stage; existing in the expanse of the technicolor sky and the pitiful ocean. I am the grief that pounds you over and over till you are left breathless and drop to the ground, defeated. Yet, I am the healer of your soul and the shoulder you may need to rise. I am bronze; for the grandeur of the radiant gold blinds me and the elegance of silver shows me too much. I am the middle ground, where misery is bred with purity to create something divine. I am ecstasy. Yes, ecstasy! Why must you ask whether I am good or evil? Who are you to tell me to ignore the perverse cries of my heart? When you, yourself are nothing more than a sliver of potential, a mere fragment?
Strive for mediocrity. Why shoot for the moon when you have the endless expanse of earth before your very eyes? Settle between whispers and silhouettes and epic ballads and common love stories. Reside in the swirling smog that punctures the soul and pushes you for more. You are afraid. Why are you afraid? The anticipation, the craving, the hope. Peek behind the curtain and you will only see what lies ahead. I am but an observer in the creation of such celestial creatures yet I have fallen for the world. Plummeted deep into every monotonous detail, drenched in a sea of desire. Dare not to dream, dare to breathe.
Unbeknownst to you, I refuse to let my infatuations remain. Silently, I linger in a labyrinth of woven lies cast away, unneeded. I will tear open your core and slash the vessels of blood that defy your every movement, slice every damaged nerve till your pride is vanquished. Let the rhythm of the world lull you into a trance till your mind and body are together no more, then jerk you back to life; gasping for air till there is none left in your starving lungs. That is your panacea. Now, live, that your body is stripped of sentiment and thought; live, that your voice is soaring and hoarse; live, as a fraud, a coward, a sheer illusion. Swallow the stars that circle the galaxy, and live.
(Photo from here.)
Comments