Sadist

By: Raisa Islam

I was falling straight down the black, empty space, and with a bang I woke up. Violent gusts of wind nearly tore me apart. Waves of something; something like the tail end of a sad dream made me feel uprooted, displaced, like an intruder in someone else's life.

With no clue of where I was, I watched the orange sun rising high. The tingling sensation in my hand startled me and my eyes got fixed upon the rat, my innocent victim. It crawled over my hand as I battled to pin it to the ground before I eventually managed to kill it with repeated blows to its head. I was sick of all the sorrow and distress that flourished inside me and this tiny creature managed to give me an escape. Dipping my hands in the gooey blood like a child, I used the ground as a canvas and painted my miseries upon it. My attention diverted to some pictures lying in the ground while toying with the brain of the little creature.

Pictures of my body cut, beaten and bruised left me tangled on the web of thoughts. With no trace of a single slit present, I started making my way across the place hoping to run into an acquaintance. Painful scenarios were flashing in front of my eyes every time. I could feel my head being slashed with a million blows. I was so close to solving the mystery happening in my mind but in the end all I was left with was with the cryptic memory of catching the sight of a pale reflection hiding. My feelings where a cycle of envy, hatred and vengeance which seem to have inflicted the air around me. My stomach growled for food and I went over to the nearest place I could find. The hustle and bustle of the busy crowd was almost going to overwhelm me but the moment I laid my eyes on him, every chaos, every agitation and every anxiousness disappeared. The feeling of cutting his head with the same knife he was butchering meat with quickly relaxed me. An ocean of guilt overpowered me and the unbearable emptiness of my soul pierced through my heart. What had I been thinking? It was enough to fill my soul with terror and fear of the person I had magically turned into. Trying to keep my thoughts at bay, I tried finding a diversion but my eyes kept finding him. And before I knew, I was cutting him down, sawing his body and dismembering him while relishing the thought of his sufferings. Was pleasure derived from the infliction of pain an evil thing? Was cruelty uncivilised?

Horrified at the monster I had become, I quickly headed over to the nearest pond and splattered water all over my face to cleanse the sickening thoughts clouding my mind. Suddenly I caught the reflection in the water. A familiar face came into my sight, the face of the pale reflection lurking in the darkness and I remembered the precise moment he had slashed my head in half. Fear gripped my heart as I saw myself waking up in the body of my killer. Cold shivers lingered over my body as I was scared stiff.

(Image from here.)