The Truth Untold

By: Tehniat Fatima Ahmed

He skates ahead as she peeks around the end of the alley. Laughing, he speeds down the street towards the library. With his friends, he was the liveliest thing on Earth, a bubble of joy, then what made him be like that at home? Smiling inwardly at the amount of information she knew, she ran down the street at full speed, only halting when a fork in the street arrived. He was racing down 31b, with his headset on, enjoying the wind rushing past him.

Apparently, he had taken the longer route to the library. Could he be going somewhere else? No, no way, her mind replied. Smirking, she took 30b, a shorter route to the same destination. She would get there before him, she thought, running at full speed.

Whooping, she realized that her first priority had become to stalk him. She would wait a whole day just for these forty minutes to arrive. Just to follow him, look at him, not exposing herself. She would do this daily, never showing herself. Did she find this creepy? No, it felt strange and new to her but it was anything but creepy. She fell in the thought of the chance of her falling for him but then the wind whacked her on the face making her realize that she was stalling. Her running had slowed down to a gallop and then she was hopping down the lane. Mentally shaking herself, she ran thinking about what would happen if he knew that she existed. But then again, he didn't, she would never dare to go in front of him, thanks to the fears she sheltered. Fear was one element she thought she would master if she simply walked past him and he spared a glance at her. But, no, that was not going to happen. Not in a million years. She was afraid, scared thoroughly. Afraid of all that could break if they bumped into each other and all the if's that hung in the air.

This was how forbidden and lost love felt like, she thought with a snicker. Her feet carried her lightweight with ease as her black shirt flew behind her. As the lane ended right in front of the library, she knew that he'd be at the back of the treasure of books and she cut through the forest neighboring the library. Nothing existed for her in these forty minutes of every, single day. It was just her and that boy. The world would dissolve into nothing and all the other people and things would vanish along with everything. Her black shirt had untucked from her blue and white striped skirt as it flew with her. Spreading her arms out, she thought about his smile, that one dimpled gesture of his that would cause her heart to melt. He had never smiled at her, but what difference would that make, a smile is a smile. As she reached the back doors, she embraced herself for a sharp turn. She would simply dash through the doors and dissolve into the bookshelves until he decided it was time to return to his place. But, she was taken by surprise as soon as the clearing came into her view, astonishing she stumbled, pulling her brakes and balancing herself before throwing her weight against the wall. It hurt but it was worth it, it felt like her body had slammed into a solid and her insides were echoing because of her organs being displaced. But, it was this or she was done for. There he was, standing on a rock which marked the end of the flat clearing, just before the steep slope full of thorny bushes and prickly hedges plunged into darkness. His back was towards her, his chin tilted upwards as his eyes meet the cloud-filled sky. She edged closer to eavesdrop if he was speaking. Her slim figure easily fit behind a tree nearest to him, one that marked the edge of the tree line and she rested her back against the tree, tilting her head to listen carefully.

"I'm tired, you know. Tired of faking it, until everything seems unreal. Tired of plastering fakeness everywhere in my life." He was saying everything in a low voice as if telling a secret. She closed her eyes at the voice from heaven as contentment buzzed in her insides. "I'm fed-up of myself. I feel like I'm drowning and visualizing everything from underwater, viewing all aspects prospering and being destroyed." He continued, scanning the contents of the sky as if he would find something desired from there. Her eyes widened at the realization that everyone was fighting their battles, everywhere was trapped in one place or another. Damn sonder. "And I'm tired of you following me." And at that she froze, sensing the smile in his voice. "Nothing goes unnoticed for too long, you know?" For a crazy split second she wondered about the chances of him talking to someone else.

"You're extremely precise. You pull a perfect halt when you saw me, then the way you elegantly fit in the tree. How do you do it?" he asked, hopping off the rock. She sensed him walking towards her, as her senses tingled continuously. At that moment, all she could do was stare off into space. She was frozen inside and outside, what she really wanted to do was run, run as fast as her legs could carry her. Runaway from all the fears she had to confront in the approaching second. As soon as his face came into view a lone tear trailed down her left cheek. There he was, her flower. The one she was living on these days, the reason for her smile. It moved her how a single person, in all their flesh and bones, affected you. Her eyes were fixed on his face, unable to blink, afraid of him disappearing. The silence highlighted the want in between them dancing with the fear, electric silence, the kind that has the power of goosebumps.

As a small smile crawled over his features, molding the angelic to visibly mesmerizing, a gasping sob escaped her lips. He stopped when he was a few inches away from her, not bothering about the distance. Raising his fisted hand, he grazed his knuckles over her cheekbone.

"You're real." He whispered, whispering as if the universe in front of him would explode if he was loud. "Hey, don't.....don't cry, beautiful." He tried to soothe her as he wondered why she was crying, sobbing in such a way that she was visibly hurting. He couldn't understand why she would always follow him, follow him everywhere, but never come in front of him, never show him herself. And right at that moment, his green, murky eyes widened as he realized that it was fear that was gnawed her from the insides. But, fear of what exactly? Was she insecure, afraid to get caught? He wanted to know, wanted to comfort her regarding the matter. She was weeping silently as if her tears were forbidden. He had known about her for so long now that he was aching to touch her. Tired of containing, he wanted to offer her condolence; her sorrow affected him to such an extent.

"I know that it's mutual and you know that too. So, why would you hide? What is there to conceal?" he asked, his voice still fragile like the delicate flower he thought of her as. Tears intensifying, she was speechless when it came to an explanation. The person standing in front of her was such a positive soul, a raw, utterly happy, and perfect being. But, when she looked at herself, disgust overwhelmed her. What had made her think that she deserved him? She, who belonged to nobody, had no home literally. Who in their right mind would like a homeless and an orphan stalking them? Who would be willing to love such a simple and boring soul like hers? That was why she hadn't exposed herself for such a long while. This was why she was simply terrified.

"You do know that I'll listen to you, no matter what. And that I would not judge, I'm no one to judge you, beautiful," he commented, encouraging her to say something. It could be anything, any word that would fill the blankness inside of him. He wanted to tell her how both of them were in the same boat, afraid of what fate contained for them. But, that was the flaw, both of them had lost the ability to express.

"Don't lie to me. Thegh-there is nothing be-beautiful about me," she replied, her voice muffled as she tried to stop the sobs from escaping. His eyes widened at that, so that was it. She was self doubted. Her own judgment had dragged her to conclusions she had never wished to belong to. Always keeping the most hateful words for herself, this was the first time someone had admired her. And had done it out of the blue, with no advantage what-so-ever. So, at this point she couldn't help but believe that it was all a blatant lie. She wanted to curse herself for being too careless, for exposing herself.

On the other hand, he couldn't believe the amount of self-hate she had preserved for herself. How could she think that? Who had belittled her to the extent that she had stopped believing in herself?

"Who said that to you? No one, absolutely no one in this universe is born ugly. And you, you angel, you are nowhere near ugly. You are the most endearing persona I've ever set my eyes on." He answered her honestly, wanting to erase her insecurities.

"Stap-staph please. I cah-can't handle it." She was overwhelmed by all the words of praise and all the moments, all those heartbreaking minutes of her life flashed in front of her eyes. All the times that she had been told that she was not good enough, that she was a pain for all of those around her and even though she had just turned into an adult, she had to take care of herself. But, he was so adamant about winning her agreement, on make her regain herself in a way.

"When are you going to stop lying to yourself?" he asked, extremely concerned about the conclusions she made about herself automatically. In all truthfulness, he was extremely taken aback by the low position one could designate to themselves. About the utter pain, one can conflict on their self. His skin crawled just thinking about it. "People say that all the time. You have to save your self. You're the only one with that power." he explained, taking deep breaths to regulate his behavior, to keep himself in check.

He was mad, mad at the world that could direct such heart-wrenching pain and words that could tear one apart. But, the surprise was overtaking the anger.

"I nuh-need someone. Anyone, but someone. Someone to anh-anchor me." she replied back her voice cracking and she felt pathetic about herself. This was the first time that she had set her eyes on someone and now she had blown her image up with stupid tears. How stupid could she be? Finally, there was some gain and she had to express her worthless insecurities.

"You're so wrong. So flawed about whatever you think about yourself. You don't need anybody, you're good on your own. And you're living proof about it. You survived, went through so many years on your own. Why is that? Doesn't that contradict all the need you feel?" he was being so rational right now but her contents held such strength that they weren't ready to erode.

"At this point, everybody lies." she countered back, finding some self-control in herself and tightening her grip around it. Wiping her tears away, she admired the view fate had blessed her with. He was breathtaking. The way his long lashes shadowed the green, earthy portals of his and the way his frown caused his upper lip to jut out slightly. She wanted to melt into a puddle of cuteness, one minute of her life she had never imagined that she would ever see his face from less than five meters away and the other minute he was a few inches away from her.

She just had to reach out, to pull him against herself, or fall into his warmth. But, she had just burst the bubble of ecstasy she wanted to feel and so badly anticipated when they would finally look eye to eye.

"I'm not everyone," he growled a reply and her brow pinched together as a response. "I won't ruin you as all of them did. If I have to be a part of your life, I'd rather be the reason that you smile and enjoy life at it's fullest. Discover the beauty you hold. " he resolved, never ceasing to surprise her. His words pulled her insides open and she felt raw happiness filling inside her.

"And what makes you say that?" she questioned, buzzing because of curiosity. This was the type of feeling she couldn't quite place, an emotion she could name. She was glad, yet scared and taken aback; a wild, scary mix of whirling emotions. At her question, he allowed himself to give her a small smile, a tiny token of reassurance and finality.

"I have witnessed what you go through and I am living proof that you have been successful at blocking out all of the hate, all of the elements that beg for your decline. If you had let that happen, we would've met long ago." he established. His words made her realize why it had been like it had. Maybe, just maybe he was right. She hadn't let herself down or stooped to low, but what came next terrified her shit-less. No, she hadn't been like the others before, but now all that she wanted to be was so human, so mundane.

"But-" she started, startled by how they had started so nicely but crashed in the same boat at the end. Alas, he was quicker. He had deciphered her to the extent that he knew that she worked on logic, that she would process stuff and her actions and behavior would be based on that processing.

"But, in the end we are human. We want and need and as much as that sounds petrifying, we can not live without the essentials." he elaborated, itching all over to touch her, feel the skin and bone that never ceased to intrigue and impress him. Enthrall and mock him. "But, along with that comes dependence, which is a hard detail to control." she half questions and half tells, at which he nods. Yet again, stirred by the maturity supervised by her. She blinks rapidly as if digesting her own words before she finally stumbles on to a concrete base. "Even so, I think I can take it. I think that it's time trust and fear lay in the same bed." she looks at him, hoping that he comprehends everything she means and sure enough, he doesn't disappoint.

"Does that mean I can greet you properly? Like tackle you with a proper bear hug?" he asks quite innocently causing a light chuckle to escape from her lips.

"I don't see why not," she answers back, waiting for him to take the first step. Anticipation was blowing bubbles in her stomach while glee was fluttering its wings. Taking a step forward, he takes the leap, and swiftly wraps his arms around her. She stiffens momentarily before dissolving into his embrace. He secures his arms as they coil around her waist and she takes her arms around his upper rib cage. Closing her eyes, she waits for the explosion to occur as her insides grow wild.

"Finally peace." he voiced softly and all his praise intensified when he tucked his cheek on her shoulder, pulling her into himself further. Both of their cheeks are tainted with a faint red hue and none of them come in terms with reality. As they stood there, he lulls her lightly as to confirm that he was holding her and that he would like to hold her for as long as his soul allowed. Happiness had finally found a way into broken hearts, the healing was yet to begin. ~Fin~